When I was in high school I had a blog titled "Commonly Unique." It was a song by the Real Group, an a cappella singing group from Sweden whose lyrics struck a chord in me. How many times are we told that we are unique, we are special, that it is okay to be different? And I think those who say that, mean it. But yet, when it comes to assessment of children, our scores are normed; they are based on the scored of populations of everyone else. We are judged and placed accordingly.
Parents pride themselves based on the percentile their child has achieved based on weight and height during annual physical examinations at the doctors. I was never even on those charts. I was always below the norm. And instead of my parents freaking out that there might be something wrong with me, they assessed whether or not I was healthy, and we went on with our lives and did not engaged in "percentile" conversations during family gatherings and birthday parties. Not to say I was the healthiest kid in the world with ear infections, strep throat, tonsillitis, etc. but I never felt inferior because I was not growing as fast as the other kids in class. The point was that I WAS growing and was "typical" in development. When my parents tried to go to ear, nose, and throat specialists to help me not get sick as often, "literature said" that it was not good to take out tonsils or adenoids in young children. So, we got a second opinion. And "literature" continued to say that it was not an appropriate approach to remedying the reoccurring illnesses. Several years later, "literature" changed. It now said that removal of tonsils IS an appropriate method, but should be done in the younger years because as a child gets older it becomes a more evasive procedure. I crossed my fingers and hoped I grew out of it and learned not to trust literature as "literature" is only opinion.
Little events like those, I believe, have lead me to the world of special education. Talk about a career that is FILLED with literature, constantly changing continuums and philosophies that are adapted to different administrations and trends. Every child is different, whether they have a disability or not. Therefore it makes sense that each child learns differently. There is no ONE approach that is going to work for every single child, classroom, teacher, situation. It is finding an appropriate mix and being able to have exposure to many different methods to best serve our children. As educators we should never become static in thinking that we will find a fix-all cure-all 100% accurate method. Flexibility is everything in education. This is why I become so agitated when it comes to the standardization of education. Sure, we need to have some sort of standardization to be able to see if our programs are working, but there are SO many factors that affect scores. I want to met the people who create these tests to understand how they figure it all out. We need diagnostic tools, I understand this, but why not focus on positive formative assessment instead of standardized mumbo jumbo. Formative assessment such as teacher conference and self-monitoring helps guide a child's education based on his or her own abilities and include them on the process. Who cares where they are in comparison to the rest of the class!?!? Are they functioning? Are they happy? Are they gaining skills to help advance them in the world? Do they have friends? What is their quality of life? Why are these not the questions we are not only asking, but answering?!?
I think by comparing children to their peers at a young age sets a precedent of the bigger the better, more is best. People want to be better than the Jones family- have a bigger house, better job, make more money- status is how we classify ourselves as who we are. Doesn't that limit a person? I don't care where you are from, how do you treat other people? I don't care what your title is, are you doing your job? I don't care how much money you make, are you healthy and providing for your family?
There needs to be more work in the world for emotional development. I see too many of the people around me stressed out, worried, anxious and not enough people knowing how to handle the world around them. I think it is so important to have leadership training and character education from a young age to really integrate its value into society. How many business leaders or administrators do you know who could have benefiting from have tact? Or better people skills? I work with children who have autism and some of the methods we use for these children to build social skills could work very well on some neurotypical adults I know! Who ever takes the time to teach these skills? I guess they are supposed to be innate skills. If you have no one modeling them, scaffolding the progression how to develop such skills.
Now another point I want to bring up is that a school cannot be a solution for all problems. Emotional development needs to be taught in the home as well. We need to take more time parenting, and less time worrying about status and where our kids are compared to our friends' kids.
It is so hard working with a unseen disability. If a child has a broken leg, we would never take away their crutches and make them walk up stairs. It would be seen as cruel. YET! for many children with issues such as sensory integration disorder and anxiety, the first thing we want to do is to see their disability as a behavior and fix the behavior REGARDLESS of where it may be coming from. I know why a child with a broken leg would not want to go up a flight of stairs without supports. I also understand that a child with an unseen disability might not want to go up a flight of stairs, even if he tells me so by acting out in another way. He doesn't know why he can't climb and that frustrates him. I need to understand that and figure out what it may be that is preventing it and help get him up that staircase with whatever crutch he may need. The hope is eventually we will remove the crutch and whatever was causing him not to go up that flight would be healed, as if a bone. Now that bone might still be brittle, but sometimes those bones become even stronger- the longer it is supported. I want to look at every kid and think about what lies in the future. Even if today I do not get the results I wanted, if I got a few glimpses into what skills he may gain in the future with continue support, then I know I have made a difference. It is hard. It takes patience. It can be frustrating, but it is more frustrating knowing that nothing has been done.
And when your child has a disability, everyone wants to tell you what to do- all with good intention to help. You can listen to a thousand professionals, with credentials and certificates and experiences but the fact it will still be a guessing game to see what works for that specific, individualized child. Every child truly is a puzzle. They learn different, they grow different, disabilities affect them differently, they have different abilities and talents and each one needs to be seen like that. Every disability is a spectrum disability. There are personalities to be taken into account. For anyone to say they have the secret is lying. The secret is that every child needs to be approached differently and that we have to stop looking for quick fixes. We have been looking for easier to manage quick fixes for years and look how far that has gotten us.
Education needs to be a team sport. Teachers, parents, professionals, administration, doctors, etc. need to work as a team- that doesn't mean agree all the time, but they need to really have the best interest of the child in mind. But egos get in the way. People want a bigger salary for the more work they do. And this all goes back to status and comparing ourselves to others.
As we grow up as a society, we are realizing more and more the importance of childhood. Just recently have we started to define what it is to be a child. This is affecting how we are educating our children, caring for our children from prenatal, postnatal, and throughout our lives. I believe each child is special and individualized and I will see each child as such. I may not know always what to do, but I will try the best within my means to help a child truly reach their potential.
I hope this is not me living in my young, rose-colored glasses world where I can make a difference. I never want to lose sight of this no matter how hard my job may seem at times. When I think I am not doing any good and get caught up in my salary, that is when I know I will need a career change. For now, I am okay knowing I am making a difference in a few children's lives, and I hope that continues to grow at an exponential rate.
Vision without action is merely a dream. Action without vision just passes the time. Vision with action can change the world...Joel A. Barker. You, my sweet Becca, will change the world. Wear those rose-colored glasses with pride and stay away from the Joneses.
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